Your Guide To Malaysian Dreamgirl

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hohohoho.
oh yes.
the bitch is back

welcome. to kim's guide to malaysian dreamgirl.

okay first and foremost, the name 'malaysian dreamgirl' is kinda misleading
cause they aren't actually looking for malaysia's dream girl. they aren't looking for a kind, compassionate, beautiful-inside-and-out girl.
honestly they don't give a shit about personality and all that. cause you know who cares about the inside right cannot see what.
they are lookin for a MODEL.
and that's pretty much it. a pretty face.
cannot speak english? NEBER MINE ONE LA!
i've watched episodes 1, 2 and 3
and i gotta say. the girls are pretty damned disappointing.
but then again i gotta admit e show is pretty interesting.

i can't wait for season 2 of malaysian dreamgirl (if there is one)
i'm gonna hit the gym and become fit to the t
and next year wen i'm old enough and in KL me and ashleigh are totally gonna audition.
and we will tear the competition up. hohoho.

meet the top 12 selected girls

1) ADELINE (the ah lian)
age: 21
height: 173cm
weight: 55kg
measurements: 32-26.5-37.5
this girl is damn entertaining
because she is DAMN ah lian
she doesn't speak a word of english. seriously it actually pains me to watch her speak.
oh. and she used to model for a bakery in genting
damn proud of it summore.
adeline: "you know the bakery in genting. yah! they use my face for the shop"
elaine: "so you used to model....muffins?"
adeline: "yaah".

elaine: "do you ever you know...work out?"
adeline: "no. i is seldom exercise. yaah. seldom do exercise"
elaine: "why. so you think you're perfect?"
adeline: "yaah"
elaine: "hah? you think you are perfect?"
adeline: ....

2) ALISON (the pretty indian girl/jay look-a-like)
age: 27
height: 170cm
weight: 50 kg
measurements: 32-24-32 in
i like this girl.
i have no idea what kenny was talkin about when he says "he doesn't know whether she photographs well"
he's fuckin crazy. cause she is just gorgeous.
and she speaks really well too.

3) CINDY (girl in the tacky karaoke red dress that made kenny damn horny)
age: 21
height: 167cm
weight: 52kg
measurements: 32-25-33 in
this girl i won't forget
cause she came to open auditions in this tacky tacky low cut short skirted red chinese restaurant tablecloth karaoke waitress dress.
and kenny's nose bled. seriously man.
cindy: *walks in*
kenny: "wow. wow. wow. i like this."
cindy: :)
kenny: "wow. i like this. wow. *nose bleeds*"

wtf.
but then she got e makeover hair cut
and she looks alot better now. less karaoke waitress.
but i can't forgive for that dress. i just can't.

4) I cannot be bothered to remember her name.
very forgettable. dunno who.
5) Fiqa (the girl who got fucked during the makeover)
age: 18
height: 170cm
weight: 48kg
measurements: 32-25.5-35 in
i dunno what happened. but they fucked her over in the makeover.
she now looks like shit.O_0


6) I also cannot be bothered to remember her nametoo boring and too mild for me to care.
7) Jay (the girl with the body of a goddess)
age: 25
height: 175cm
weight: 55kg
measurements: 33-24.5-36 in
yea you can tell jay is definitely my fave.
she is so beautiful and her body is SICK
she is the only girl who auditioned with killer abs. everyone else had no business in wearing a sports bra and short shorts.
i love you! her skin tone is totally gorg too.
i dunno why dey made her so damn fair in this picture
jay FTW!

8) Jean ( has no nickname cause she's pretty non-descript,
but still quite rememberable)
age: 21
height: 172
weight: 57
measurements: 34-28-35 in
nothing to say about her.
she just looks very clean. like a kindergarten teacher.yawn.

9) Nadia (the hot slutty malay girl)
age: 20
height:162cm
weight:43kg
measurements: 31-25-35 inhere's another fave.
i like nadia.
why?
cause she is FIERCE
FIERRCEEE. like literally
plus she looks kinda slutty and bitchy.
which is good. cause i don't like girls who look too 'clean'.
like no sex appeal. tidak bagus.

10) Natasha (the girl who needs to pluck her eyebrows)
age: 18
height: 167cm
weight: 50kg
measurements: 30-25-34 in
okay when i first saw this girl
seriously no faith man.
all i could think of. was plucking those damned eyebrows.
and that stupid aunty dress. ew ew ew ew ew.
but then the photoshoot and makeover came
and then she really suprised us all.
firecrotch! much better.

11) Cheesie (i still cannot believe her name is Ringo. like for real?)
age:23
height: 162cm (WTF? HOW COME SHE CAN QUALIFY?)
weight: 40kg
measurements: 32-24-33 in
okay i am
really really really annoyed. that cheesie is now in malaysian dreamgirls.
she is just totally undeserving.
i mean okay shes petite and pretty. so she'll be perfect for modelling household equipment.
plus her cheebye long black hair looked like pubic hair.
thank god. they cut it.
i think the only reason she was called back was cause she could help promote e show.
other than that.
pfft.

12) Valerie (the chinese girl with afro. i dunno how either)
age: 21
height: 163cm
weight: 44kg
measurements: 31-24-33 in
i dunno man. i only liked her cause of her hair.
now that she cut it. i dunno lah.

okay enough about the girls.
time to bitch about the judges.
(kenny is going to be uber annoyed that i stole all his pictures off his blogand now am critiquing his judging skills)
but hey. here we go.

Judge Number One:

kenny kenny kenny.
i know i seem totally ungrateful cause you pimped out my blog.
but he is THE worst judge ever.
EVER.
honestly. anything in a short skirt and they are through.
no questions asked.
seriously kenny! judge with your head. not with your dick.
so to speak.

Judge Number Two:
elaine daly, miss malaysia universe 2003.
the only judge qualified to be a judge
so she isn't the prettiest
and her hair sucks.
but she's still sarcastic, bitchy and really witty. she's also got this very classy feel to her. so i like her. =D
what she says actually makes sense. and she doesn't sugar coat it. i mean if you suck she will say you suck.
without her. all e girls chosen will be damn fug and hopeless man.

Judge Number Three:
okay first of all. lim jimmy/jimmy lim is the unsexiest homosexual ever
(oh you know he is gay don't deny it)
check out his facebook profile. gay gay gay gay gay gay gay
GAY
he's supposed to be some 'A-list stylist' but i'm not really convinced.
how can he be an A-list stylist if no one has ever heard of him?

and finally. the HOST.
sazzy falak. who the fuck is sazzy falak?
(try to say sazzy falak really quickly 3 times. damn funny)
i'll tell you.
THIS is sazzy falak
chesus christ.

so what's the standard of malaysian dreamgirl?
well
now you know.