How Kuching People Are You? Take The Test!

Small Talk: Oh thank god it's over. Oh and in case if any of you are wondering. I AM from Kuching. Bred not born. But I am a Kuching girl nevertheless. Enjoy. =D
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welcome!
to how kuching people are you?

by you continuing to read this test you have gained 5 points.
simply because you are in denial/are curious as to how kuching people you are.

at the end of the test add up all your points and that will equal to how kuching people you are.
let's begin shall we?

1) Are you from Kuching?
A. YA LAAAAAH WE KUCHING PPL MAAAAAH (3 points. subsequent 1 point for each 'A' used)
B. No. I from Taiwan/Japan/Korea. KAWAII-NEH (2 points)
C. Bred not born (1 point)
D. I am white. (-2 points)

2) What does the word "Kuching" mean?"
A. The origins of the city's name have never been clear. "Kuching" does translate into "cat" in Malay and"kuching" is an old Malay spelling. However, the new official Malay spelling today would be "kucing," but both of them are pronounced the same. There is a separate theory whereby it may actually be a variation of the Indian name for "port"-"Cochin". (-2 points. ang mo answer).
B. Cat (1 point)
C. Hai yaaa. Kuching is the miaow city of malaysia. LOLLMAOROFL hehe ^^ (5 points).

3) What do you think of our Kuching cat statue?
A. It's hideous (3 points)
B. It's used for advertising crap like maggi sauce and hotlink. (4 points)
C. It's beautiful and symbolic of the authenticity and raw ethnicity of the glorious state that is Kuching. Kuching is so rich with nature and the wildlife is positively delightful. (-5 points)
D. Kuching has a cat statue?! (-10 points)

4) Who is James Brooke?
A. A bloke who was the first white rajah of Sa-Ra-WAK! Jolly good fellow! (-3 points. subsequent -2 if answered in full British accent)
B. Some cibai ang mo (6 points)
C. Some ang mo (4 points)
D. The name of the cafe along riverside and opposite Hilton. (1 point. -4 points for asking where riverside is.)

5) What is the best thing about Kuching?
A. Nothing. (0 points)
B. KOLO MEE (2 points)
C. Our women (-3 points)
D. THE SPRING (2 points)
E. The trees, forest, rocks, rivers and orang utans. (-5 points)
F. EVERYTHING. KUCHING IS SIBEH GOOD MAAANG! THE BEST! (4 points)

6) How much is a bowl of kolo mee?
A. RM 2.50 (3 points)
B. RM 10 (-20 points)
C. Depends on whether got cha siow o not la! You want extra have to pay more la! And sometimes ah, got prawn meat so more expensive looh! I tell you ah the best kolo mee is......*go on for at least 10 minutes about kuching food* (10 points)

7) What is kolo mee?
A. CIBAI YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT KOLO MEE IS YOU GO DIE LA (7 points)
B. Fuckin good noodles. (2 points)
C. Disgusting oily noodle. (-9 points)

8) Are you currently residing in Kuching? If so where?
A. My fren house. (1 points)
B. My aunty house. (2 points)
C. My parents house. (3 points)
D. My kampung. (4 points)
E. Hilton. (-20 points)

9) When you walk past someone in the street and you somehow manage you catch their eye, what do you do?
A. Give a hesistant nod and smile. (-1 point)
B. Say hello. Kuching people are so friendly. (-2 points)
C. Look away. (1 point)
D. Look at them as if they might snatch your bag and stab you. (5 points)

10) Chicks in miniskirts are...
A. Hot (-2 points if your female. 0 points if your male)
B. Depends on how hot the girl is (1 point)
C. Meeh. I'm gay. (-10 points)
D. HAI YAA HOW CAN LIKE THAT ONE!! SO DISGRACEFUL PARENTS NEVER TEACH YOU ARR IS IT? SO SHORT SKIRT LIDDAT OSO WANT TO WEAR! (10 points. additional 5 points if you are an aunty and over 40).

11) If a chinese girl has dyed hair and speaks good English, I must mean that she is...
A. Rich. (3 points)
B. Trying to be ang mo. (7 points)
C. From private school. (1 point)
D. Tila Tequila (0 points)

12) What assumption do you make about people who go to international/private schools?
A. SPOILT BRATS. RICH BITCHES. ALWAYS SHOW OFF ONE HAI YA I TELL YOU...(10 points)
B. None. Their just people. =D (-2 points)

13) What sport do you play?
A. Basketball. (1 point)
B. Baseball (0 points)
C. Badminton (1 point)
D. Football (2 points)
E. FutSAL (4 points)
F. DOTA (15 points)

14) What do you think about black people?
A. Their just people. (-5 points)
B. THEY WILL ROB YOU AND KILL YOU AND RAPE YOUR DAUGHTERS BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT CHINESE ARE NO GOOD. (30 points)
C. They go INTI college (1 point)

15) If you see a minor car accident what do you do?
A. Glance out the window and drive past. (0 points)
B. Ask other people in the car to look out the window. (1 point)
C. Lecture your children about the consequences of speeding (1 point)
D. STOP THE CAR AND GET OUT AND BLOCK TRAFFIC. Afterall, it is your mission to go kepo. (35 points)

16) Who is Kenny Sia?
A. Some kuching blogger (1 point)
B. Some famous kuching blogger (2 points)
C. THE BEST KUCHING BLOGGER EVER MAN! I LOVE YOU KENNY! (5 points)
D. Cibai kenny. I am jealous of kenny. (6 points)
E. Who is kennysia?!!!! (-5 points)

17) Are you a virgin?
A. Yes (2 points)
B. No (-2 points)

18) As of today, how many times have you been to The Spring since it opened?
A. 1-5 times (1 point)
B. 5-10 times (2 points)
C. 10-20 times (3 points)
D. I go there everyday. (5 points)
E. I go there everyday but I sit outside and smoke with my other loser uneducated friends and make noise at people who walk past. (10 points)
F. I work there. (1 point)
G. I WENT THERE THE DAY IT OPENED!!!!! (20 points)

19) When I am at The Spring I...
A. Shop (1 point)
B. Throw coins into the fountain. Even though it is clearly not a fountain. (8 points)

20) You are at a restaurant and the service is slow, the waiters are remarkably rude and the food is inedible. What do you do?
A. Talk to the manager (-1 point)
B. Nothing. Because intolerable service is okay. (20 points)
C. Stare rudely at those who complain. (30 points. Additional 5 points if you point fingers)

21) It's Sunday, 2pm and you're bored at home. What do you do?
A. Play friendster. Go online. Play DOTA. (3 points)
B. Help mommy cook. (2 points)
C. Call up your friends to go play futsal (4 points)
D. Go siang siang and eat till you burst. (5 points)
E. Go taman sahabat, park you cars and lepak. (6 points)
F. "KI SPRING!" ('ki' means 'go' in hokkien) (7 points)
G. Go kuching airport. Its super geng. (8 points)

22) It's Saturday night. Where do you head to?
A. Bed. (1 point)
B. I have to study for SPM cause I need to get as many A's as possible (3 points)
C. Soho (1 point)
D. Grappa (1 point)
E. Barzing (1 point)
F. Mojo (1 point)
G. Ipanema (1 point)
H. Kuching Airport (10 points)

23) Are you an ah lian/ah beng?
A. Yes (1 point)
B. No <---in denial (5 points)

24) Are you slow, incompetent yet satisfied with life?
A. Yes (5 points)
B. You bitch. (10 points)

25) What do you think of this survey?
A. LOL the numbers don't add up properly. (1 point)
B. FUCKIN HILARIOUS HAHAHAHAHAHA (2 points)
C. I don't get it. Where is Kuching? (-40 points)
D. LU GONG HA MI? YOU BEEETCH YOU CIBAI YOU GO DIE LA YOU THINK YOU VERY GOOD IS IT HAH? YOU THINK YOU ARE VERY SMART IS IT? MAKE FUN OF KUCHING? I TELL YOU AH YOU BETTER WATCH OUT I WILL CALL MY GANG TO COME BEAT YOU UP! YOU THINK I SCARE HUH IS IT? BEH SONG? SIO PAK LAH! (50 points)